My relationship with food has completely changed and I am grieving it — need advice — Psychological & Behavioral

Senior Member

1,890

8,901

Jan 2024

Scottsdale, AZ

Nov 17, 2025 at 9:03 PM#1

I looked in the mirror yesterday and didn't recognize myself. Not in the dramatic weight-loss-reveal way. In the unsettling, existential way. I've lost 90 lbs over 10 months and I genuinely don't know whose body this is. I touch my collarbone and it feels like touching a stranger. My hip bones exist apparently? My hands look different. I keep catching my reflection in windows and doing a double-take because my brain hasn't updated its internal image of me. Does anyone else feel like they're living in someone else's body?

43 13mona_PHX, andrew_nyc, Dr.EndoEP and 40 others

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NauseaFreeNow

Member

345

1,234

Aug 2024

Indiana

Nov 17, 2025 at 11:29 PM#2

Look up "phantom fat." It's a documented psychological phenomenon where people who've lost significant weight still perceive themselves as their previous size. I still try to squeeze through gaps that I could easily walk through. I still reach for the seatbelt extender on planes. My body changed but my brain is running outdated software.

42 12maya_sedona, stefan_berlin, Dr.EM_Chicago and 39 others

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gary_naperville

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1,123

Oct 2024

Naperville, IL

Nov 18, 2025 at 1:55 AM#3

I avoid mirrors because seeing my new reflection feels like a jump scare. I know that sounds insane. But there's a very specific kind of distress that comes from not recognizing the body you're living in. It's disorienting on a fundamental level. Like you got transplanted into someone else's life.

41 11TomTeleRx, DoseLogDan, SleepFixSam and 38 others

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josh_phd_bmore

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389

1,678

Jul 2024

Baltimore, MD

Nov 18, 2025 at 4:21 AM#4

The jump scare thing — exactly. Catching my reflection in a store window literally startles me. My brain still expects to see a 280-lb person and instead there's this stranger looking back.

40 10KarenAZ_mom, zoe_NC, Dr.ObesityLA and 37 others

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anna.melb_AU

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678

2,890

Apr 2024

Melbourne, AU

Nov 18, 2025 at 6:58 PM#5

What nobody tells you is that body image doesn't automatically improve with weight loss. I thought if I could just get thin, I'd finally feel good in my body. Instead I went from hating a big body to feeling alien in a smaller one. The dysphoria is different but it's still dysphoria. I had to start therapy specifically for this.

My relationship with food has completely changed and I am grieving it — need advice

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